She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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