the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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