things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
