we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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