i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
