Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
