OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
