At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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