Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
