i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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