your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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