You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
