i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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