I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize