Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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