tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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