Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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