FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
