Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
