I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
