i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
