We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
