Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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