I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
