Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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