No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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