im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
