I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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