you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I want a musical about memes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize