Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
