I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
