I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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