My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
