If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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