Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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