I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
