You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just google imaged poop.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
