hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
