A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
