just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
