Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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