it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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