Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
