totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
