It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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