Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
