I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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