Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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