i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
