That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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