her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
