My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
