you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
