i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize