dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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