Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
