I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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