She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
