summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
