the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His hands were made for my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize