It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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