do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize